Wanna work with me? (You do.)

If you’re in Denver, Las Vegas, or Los Angeles, the company I work for (and really enjoy working with) is hiring.

cf-logo

We are actively hiring for several roles on our team. We’d like to add some additional design/front-end capabilities as well as several back-end or full-stack web developers.

More about these roles can be found on our careers page. We’re looking for people with enough experience that they can contribute right away, but we are always flexible on the exact profile because we hire people, not skills. All of these roles
will be primarily responsible for working on billable projects and solving problems for our clients. There will also be an opportunity to be involved in supporting internal product and marketing initiatives from time to time. If you’ve got strong development skills, we’d love to hear from you.

We are primarily hiring for our Denver office, but we’d be happy to hear from candidates near our Los Angeles or Las Vegas offices as well. We will also consider remote candidates under certain circumstances.

More info: http://crowdfavorite.com/blog/2014/04/hiring-web-developers/

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: this is the most difficult and most rewarding job I have ever had. Read the careers page on the company web site. The stuff about work/life balance isn’t words. They mean it.

And if you’re interested, ping me first. I’ll get your foot in the door.

Life really is grand, but you’ve gotta look for it.

We have lived in Colorado for over a year now. Holy cow I like this place.

Tonight Sheri and I went for a walk and saw a couple of cute bunnies. About six doors down a neighbor was out enjoying the evening as well. We stopped to say hello and ended up chatting for over an hour. Nothing important. Just people chatting and getting to know each other. And we walked back home. It was the longest short walk I’ve ever been on.

It was (and is) absolutely gorgeous out. The sun set about 20 minutes ago and as it set it put on a great show of colors. The temperature is in the upper 70s and it’s breezy but not too much. The air is fresh and comforting.

After we got home from our walk, I poured myself a couple of fingers of Breckenridge Bourbon. It’s smoother than Stranahans (which tends toward being a little “hot”) and is great to sip neat with a splash. I decided that as it would be a sin to waste such a beautiful evening and that I am going to sit on my patio, do some reading on the iPad, and sip some amazing Colorado Bourbon.

So I did.

For about 45 minutes, I was in my own perfect world. Ladies and gentlemen, this is simple, elegant bliss. No worries. Nothing complicated. You may disagree and that’s fine. Find your own. But if you’re looking, this is a good place to start.

I had good a good drink, a wonderful place to drink it, and something good to read. When I die, I hope this is what the afterlife is all about. It’s simple. It’s beautiful. I’m sure this experience can be had in places other than Colorado, but I’m glad I was here tonight and was able to have it. My wish for you is that you can achieve the same happiness so simply in your life and that it’s easy for you to find.

 

Soupy Sailing

The Mall Ride bus I take from the office to Union Station smelled like soup today. The whole interior reeked of soup! I don’t even know what kind of soup, either. It was just a generally soupy smell. I was standing by a door while riding. The smell dissipated when the door was open, but came right back as soon as the doors closed.

There was no outward sign of a soup spillage in the bus and nobody else had that “I’m smelling soup in a non-soup environment” face. It was very odd. Given that the outside didn’t smell like soup, I don’t think a soup factory had invaded LoDo in Denver.

So I’m not sure why the bus smelled like soup today. It was a bit disturbing and not the least bit appetizing. I’m glad the train didn’t smell weird.

Post Title Goes Here

Sheri likes to peruse Craigslist for jobs. She said this gem shows up every week or so:

Company Expanding Seeking Office Help (Denver, CO)

Company expanding seeking part-time or full-time office help. We are hoping to fill positions over the next two weeks. Please provide resume and references. We will get back to you shortly. Thank you for your time and we look forward to meeting with you soon.
– Location: Denver, CO
– Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
– Please, no phone calls about this job!
– Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

That’s the entirety of the ad. There are absolutely no specifics. I am not going to glorify that ad by linking directly to it.

My Internet Spidey Sense tells me it’s simply a spambot trying to gather email addresses of job seekers or some other nefarious sort of thing.

But …

What if it IS a legitimate ad by a company with absolutely no sense of how to market themselves or write a help wanted ad. What kind of responses do they get? I’m not looking for a job, but if I were, I’d be tempted to get a disposable email address and send them this:

Dear Company:

I am a potential employee seeking a job. I have many skills and woudl bring them all to work every day. I have always wanted to work in your field. I have many references. my salary requirements are simple: pay me regularly. My resume is attached.

Sincerely,

Person

Here’s my resume:

Person Last Name
Address
City, ST ZIPCODE

Job with Company – Dates
I performed various duties.

Job with Another Company – Different Dates
I performed various duties.

Job with One More Company – Other Dates
I performed various duties.

I keep forgetting what a treasure trove of silliness that I should write about more often. In the meantime, I won’t hold my breath expecting a wondrous job offer to come through.

 

Slow Rider

I rode my bike to the train station today for the first time in weeks. Even with the threat of snow this afternoon, I just felt the need to not drive my car and get a little exercise in the process. It was cold, of course, but I got so much more out of it than I do when I drive.

Don’t get me wrong. I have a car I thoroughly enjoy owning, and I enjoy driving as long as traffic stays out of my way. But this morning’s bike ride to the train station showed me a few things that I was starting to forget about.

The ducks in the little pond at the front of our development are one of those things. The pond had about twenty mallards doing their duck things in it. Some were standing on the little ice island on top of the pond and others were in the water and swimming around. If I had driven, I would have only had a second or two to notice, if I had noticed at all. On my bike, I was able to slow down and enjoy the scene. Quack!

About a third of the way into my ride, I noticed something moving off to the side of the road. I would not have noticed if I was driving, since I would be going past at thirty miles per hour. On the bike, at about one-third that speed, I again had a chance to see a cute bunny rabbit hopping about, trying to find a place hide from me. One of my favorite things about the move to Colorado is the number of bunnies I get to see. We have one living in the bushed right outside our front door. There are quite a few others in various places along my route to the train station and even at the station. I smile every time I see one and get a happy feeling inside. Squee!

Even though I had a bit of exercise on the way to the station this morning, I was more relaxed when arriving and enjoyed my ride to work even more. I’m realizing the Amish have it right in many ways: avoid being too fast. Sometimes life needs to be lived at its own speed, rather than the fastest speed possible.

It did snow today in Denver. Not a lot. Just a few light flurries. It was still snowing when I rode home. I enjoyed that ride, too. I usually ride home quickly, but took my time today. I took my time for two reasons. The first reason was safety. There’s no sense wiping out and giving the drivers a show, possibly injuring myself. The second was to intentionally slow down.

An added bonus was that the snow was forming a sort of warp speed visual effect as I rode in it. Prolonging that felt good. I arrived home happy and relaxed. The best part is, the ride home usually takes less time than the drive.

Weather permitting, I’ll ride again tomorrow. Slowly.

 

Wrong Number

Dear CenturyLink (or whatever you’re called this week since I’ve known you as Embaq, Sprint and maybe even other names):

You represent yourself as a modern company despite selling some very old technologies.Worse, you employ ancient sales techniques that are inappropriate in the modern world.

I had your DSL service when we lived in Las Vegas. It was reliable enough but very slow. Too slow, really. When the cable company got around to offering their high speed Internet, I jumped at it and got a connection more than 10 times faster for the same price.

We also had a phone line and it worked fine, but was too expensive. You never wanted to budge on price, so when we moved to Denver, we decided to “cut the cord” and no longer use any of your services. We don’t miss them.

I thought you understood that you no longer offer any services that I wish to consume, especially at the prices offered. This has worked nicely for the past nine months. Too bad you screwed it up last night be sending two fresh-faced people to my door to try to sell your services. They’re lucky my wife answered. She is nice ans as soon as she realized there were unsolicited solicitors at our door, she thanked them for stopping by and closed the door. They didn’t have a change to start their spiel, but were smart and left.

Had I answered the door, I would have used several unpleasant words in a row, questioned their parentage, and told them to get real jobs that don’t invade peoples’ privacy. After that I would have gotten mean and insulting.

I will remind you that it is currently the 21st Century, CenturyLink, not 1950. For a company with “Century” right in your name, you seem to have lost sight of which one we’re in. Door-to-door as a sales medium is dead. It’s frankly obnoxious. I know you can’t call me since I don’t have one of your phones, but I do have a cell phone, as does my wife. Then again, don’t call.

And don’t email me, or even mail me something in the US Mail.I really don’t want to hear from you in any way at all.

I promise you this: if I am interested in one of your slow, overpriced services, I’ll sign up. I can figure out how. I’m smart that way. But until that highly-unlikely moment in the future, sending your minions to my door simply tells me that you’re an old-fashioned, out-of-touch, boorish company with no sense of appropriate marketing or personal boundaries. And because of that, my desire to ever want your products and services diminishes with every misstep.

In fact, if I want phone service or pokey-slow DSL, I’ll find another company to provide it first. I don’t like you any more.

Thanks for trying, but don’t do that any more. You can only lose.

Sincerely,
Chris

Yesterday Was A Weird Day

Yesterday was one of those weird ones where a confluence of the absurd should have caused me great distress, but was so improbable and ridiculous as to make me laugh at it all instead.

It started first thing as Sheri gave me new bottle of hair conditioner that she won’t be using. I just used up another bottle of the same brand and liked the rosemary herbal scent. I was happy to get the new one and planned to use it during my morning shower.

So I showered. I shampooed. I rinsed. I put on the new conditioner and started rubbing it in. It smelled great. It sure foamed up nicely.

Huh? Foaming conditioner?

Let me look at that bottle. Oh! It’s shampoo! YAAY!

So I finished lathering (again) and rinsed (again) and used a different conditioner on my extremely clean hair. This will serve as a lesson to me to read the bottle before using the product. I’m glad it wasn’t Nair.

Morning beautification processed complete, I took my vitamins, meds, got dressed, headed out the door. For logistical reasons, I usually drive to work on Wednesdays. Plus I enjoy my car. It’s a nice place to be.

The drive in was, by far, my longest drive to work in Denver, possibly ever. In light-to-moderate traffic, my drive is usually around 20 minutes. I-25 was backed up as soon as I got on and stayed backed up for five miles until right after a fairly minor-looking accident on the left shoulder. The cars involved were sticking out into the left lane enough that a police cruiser with lights flashing had block the left lane. Hence the multi-mile slowdown.

Once past the accident, traffic was back up to cruising speed. For another mile. And then on the brakes again. This was about 40 minutes into my 20 minute drive.

After about 15 slow minutes and couple of miles, there was another accident, this one entirely off the road but still slowing things down. YAAY!

By now my diuretic had kicked in and it was time to pee. With a vengeance. Fortunately the rest of the drive was at regular speeds and I arrived after over an hour on the road.

I usually park at the Pepsi Center parking lot, but I knew the 3-block walk to my office would be painful, possibly wet, so I opted to park in front of my office and feed the meter for a few minutes while I did what needed to be done. I could move the car to the Pepsi Center lot once my immediate biological needs had been taken care of.

My office building has two entrances: front and side. The side entrance is the shorter route, so I went to that one. It was locked, and I don’t have a building key. Oh $deity, why are you blocking my access to blessed relief? The added stress of denied access didn’t help the mounting internal pressure any.

I did the pee-pee walk (you all know it so I won’t describe it) to the front door and down the hall, unlocking the office fumbling with the key while doing so. I had the piss jitter.

We have a private restroom in the office. I trotted to it, jacket still on, backpack perched on my back. And the light was on. Occupado! Damn.

Fortunately, there are public restrooms in the hall, so my options were not exhausted. I grabbed one of the keys to them from the office coat closet and went to the men’s room.

All systems go! Open the flood gates. Ahhhhhhh … finally. That felt good.

I flushed.

The water started climbing up in the urinal and got to the tippy top. No! Do. Not. Overflow. There’s that moment of sheer terror as you watch the water rise and hope it stops before overflowing. It usually does. Today was not that day. Over the top it went and onto the floor. And it didn’t stop. kept right on coming. Lovely.

This is where you’re at a crossroads. Do you jiggle the handle and hope that stops the flow or do you just hope it stops on its own accord? I opted to the route of least resistance: doing nothing but staring in shame as the diluted product of my kidneys poured out upon the lovely stone tile in the bathroom.

The amount spilled onto the flooe wasn’t that much: not gallons, but certainly more than a few ounces.It was, however, way too much to soak up with paper towels. So I did the only thing I could think of: I went back to work.

About an hour later, I realized that the private office bathroom was still occupied. Hmmm… so I went over and checked the occupancy by knocking (no answer) and then entering.

Empty. Nobody home. Sans occupant.

I guess someone left the light on from the night before. At this point, there was way too much silliness to worry about anything. My bladder was blessedly empty and the mess of the public restroom behind me. So I chuckled at my weird luck and did the only thing I could think of: I went back to work.

My day was great!

I woke up and wanted to stay in bed, so I did for a few extra minutes. Not enough to be late, but enough to feel a little naughty and luxurious.

I got up, did my morning business, and had some breakfast.

Business and breakfast done, I got dressed. The temperature was in the 40s, but Denver was going to get into the 60’s so I dressed lightly. No thermals!

I hopped on my bike, and booked it to the train station. I waited on the platform and caught my usual train.

The train ride was great. I chatted with my friends and arrived at Union Station in no time at all.

I grabbed a Mall Shuttle which dropped me two blocks from the office.

I enjoyed a brisk walk to the office. I’m usually the first one there, so I opened up, brewed some strong coffee, and got to work.

I had a great day at work. I got a lot done and feel good about the stuff I did.

I walked to the bus stop, grabbed the Mall Shuttle, and got to Union Station with a little time to spare. I picked my favorite spot to enter and chatted with some fellow riders about computers.

The train arrived and I boarded. I enjoyed a nice chat with a friend. After getting to the station, I got my bike out of its locker and arrived home after a brisk but brief bike ride.

I had a pleasant dinner with my favorite wife. Leftovers, but tasty ones.

I sat down for a few minutes after dinner and vegetated on the couch, allowing my brain to empty. Brain suitably empty, I did some writing.

Writing done, I did about 20 minutes of chakra energy meditation. My brain was very happy.

I did more writing.

I went back to the couch for a few minutes, but had an idea …

So now I’m doing even more writing while enjoying some strong decaf coffee spiked with some Tuaca and Stranahans. I don’t imagine the writing will continue much longer.

I’ve had a very complete, wonderful day. I am happy. I am relaxed.

I hope it happens again tomorrow. How are you doing?

 

Colorado’s cold helps me exercise

Sure, I grew up in Buffalo, NY so I knew cold, but I have spent my entire adult life living in the warmer climates of Florida and Southern Nevada. If it got cold there, it wasn’t that cold and it didn’t stay cold that long. Since we moved to Colorado in May, I have experienced plenty of cold. I’m not complaining, and this isn’t unexpected. I just need a little adjustment to get used to it.

One of those adjustments was to purchase thermal underwear. I have never owned thermal underwear before. I must say I like it. The Sears Outlet nearby has a great selection of Craftsman and NordicTrac brand thermal pants and shirts … for $6! Yep, $6 thermals are mine. Lots of them.

And here’s the best part: NordicTrac makes treadmills and other exercise equipment. Nice fancy expensive stuff. Their $6 underwear is also quite nice, and since it’s made my the same company that makes exercise equipment like treadmills and elliptical machines, wearing the underwear is just like exercising. Of this I am convinced. I’m wearing some as I write this, which is easily the equivalent of jogging a few miles uphill. Or more.

I can’t wait to get to sleep and run a marathon or two in the warm cuddly comfort of my bed. I will be in amazing shape by Spring.

I wonder if wearing the Craftsman thermals will make me a better handyman.