I own a lot of hats. Some are fun. Some are serious. Some are Winter hats. Some are Summer hats. If I wear one hat at a time, which is the appropriate maximum number of hats to wear around these parts, that leaves approximately 96% of my hats unworn at any given time. With that many hats lying around I need a good place to put them.
My wife, who usually shows better judgement than I do (except in picking spouses) and has brilliant ideas, suggested that I get some Styrofoam heads from a craft store on which to perch my hats when not being worn. Perfect!
So a couple of weeks ago, we set out looking for a few heads. We went to a local place with a cute rhyming name. “Hobby Lobby” or “Craft Shaft” or something like that. We walked around for a while searching for the heads. I was hesitant to walk up to an employee and ask for “a little head” for reasons that should be obvious. My “sense of propriety filter” was working well.
We found the heads in due course and there were male and female versions. All bald, of course, which is fine. I heard they were around $5 each, which was well within my hat perch budget. But they weren’t. The female heads were $4.99, but the only-slightly-larger male heads were an astounding $9.99. Twice as much!
Why? I have no idea why (and neither did the two employees I asked about it).
I had a decision to make: do I perch my hats atop feminine heads or go for the manly heads for my manly hats? I chose thrift over substance in this case, fairly certain in the knowledge that hats cannot have a gender crisis. They don’t really care what kind of head they have beneath them, Styrofoam or flesh.
The hats have had their fake heads for a few weeks now and actually seem happier for it. They’re definitely keeping their shape better. And I didn’t have to spend $9.99 to get them there.