A day that really stinks

Yesterday on the train on my way to work, I was sitting there quietly chatting with my train buddy Andy, who was sitting across from me. We both had empty spaces next to us. A few stops in two young ladies get on and  they sat next to us.

the Kim Kasdashian lookalike sat next to me and her plainer-looking friend sat next to Andy. Within seconds my nose was assaulted by full on cheap perfume, and lots of it. This wasn’t even good stuff that’s smells nice even when overused. This was the awful crap that likely comes in buckets, is applied with ladles and sticks to the back of your throat like cough syrup.

I wasn’t sure if it was “Kim” next to me or her friend, but I didn’t want Kim brushing up against me in case it was her emanating the foul aroma. It might have impregnated itself into the fiber of my clothing, fermenting all day and continuing its sickly sweet stench when I got home, arousing the suspicions of my lovely wife, causing her to wonder if I had wandered into a house of ill repute for some extracurricular adult fun. That’s frankly nothing I need to happen to me since I’m completely innocent of that.

Fortunately, there was no transference of reek and the train ride was otherwise unremarkable.

I was returning to my office from the communal mens room down the hall. There was sturdy-looking older woman walking toward the ladies room. The second I passed her, I entered a corridor of whiff, the jet-trail of strong perfume she left behind. UGH! Fortunately, my office door was only 20 feet away, so this olfactory blast only lasted a few seconds.

Nonetheless, it was the second assault in a day.

It made me realize there are more than a few people out there with a problem. I’m not sure if they think they stink like a 4-day-old corpse in Florida Summer sun and must cover the odor, or they don’t understand that portion control can and should extend to body scents.I guess it could simply be wobbly hands during the application process, but I doubt it.

And lest you think I’m picking on women only, I’m not. I just noted to glaring cases I personally witnessed in one day. I’ve been attacked by plenty of manly scents as well.

I just wish these people could get a sense of the offense they cause. Well, I try to do that if I can. At least when I’m gassy.